Picking Up The Pieces in San Francisco
Gay Weddings - and Not So Gay Break-Ups

by Ivette Ricco, President of Femmefan, Inc.

March 2, 2004

While over 3,000 happy gay couples have tied the knot in S.F., the Golden Gate's sports franchises are experiencing nothing but heartache.

This liberal, beautiful and captivating City is always at the forefront of political action. It's an area that embraces creativity and individuality. But when it comes to Bay Area sports franchises, the City by the Bay has fallen far short of its sports fans' expectations.

The current San Francisco landscape consists of Rosie and her spouse, Barry Bonds and his "roids", Jeff Garcia (right) and his Jack in the Box DUI stop (oh Jeff you should know that stopping at Jack at 2 AM is a dead giveaway), and TO's (below) weird calendar faux pas (how does his agent not have his PDA set for this deadline?

Then on the heels of all this off-season drama, and while we were all watching the team lose it's talent, the Niners sent out invoices for the new season with a nice little $6 increase! Yes Tony Bennett, I left my heart, and my wallet in San Francisco.

The Niners' off-season has been as much fun as being a contestant on Fear Factor. About as as pleasant as eating beetles and grasshoppers while swimming in a vat of chicken livers. I can hear Joe Rogan now, "These stunts should not be attempted, anywhere, anytime, by anyone, in their right mind". Being a Forty Niners fan could easily become an immunity challenge on Survivor.

Northern California is home to several professional franchises, The SF Forty Niners, the Raiders, The Giants, The A's, The Warriors, The Sharks, and The San Jose Saber Cats.

But when you examine the condition their conditions are in, you'll realize that they are all still sitting at the dock of the bay watching the ships just sail away.

Perhaps it is the mixed blessing of scenic beauty, comfortable climate and a myriad of activities that makes it so hard for professional sports to elicit undying and unrequited love from California fans.

Ok, let's see, it's September, it's about 65 degrees, and we can either go sailing on the Bay, do a little wine tasting in Napa Valley, go fishing on the Delta, go camping in the Sierras, take in a show in San Francisco, go watch the Niners, the Raiders, the Giants or the A's. Hummmm, such a problem.

In other sections of the country fans are devoted to, live and die for, their teams. Unconditional adoration is a given for Green Bay Packers fans, also known as Cheeseheads. If you live anywhere in or near Packer "territory" you are automatically a Packers fan. If for some strange reason you are not inducted into Cheesehead-dom, you're an outcast and likely to have to move to Milwaukee or heaven forbid, Minnesota!

But back to my rant..
Here in the SF Bay Area, the SF Giants have experienced post-season melt down and are now embroiled in the BALCO-Bonds steroid mess.

The Oakland A's have had their share of angst as they continue to underachieve. Somehow they are still finding ways to lose the tough ones, not unlike their MLB brothers on the other side of the Bay.

The Raiders are the epitome of sports franchise dysfunction and drama. Surely their story is material for a future Oprah book of the week. Their 2003 post Super Bowl swoon is unlike any other in NFL history, and of course, there's always the Al Davis factor!

The Warriors are a Bay Area joke. Not taken seriously even by casual NBA fans. The San Jose Sharks (NHL) are currently the best team in the area and the San Jose SaberCats (Arena Football League) are growing in popularity. Do you think that maybe NFL football fans have decided to take their money and head for friendlier environs?

Ok, let me get to the point, finally. Today the Niners really struck a blow for fiscal responsibility and fan disdain.

For starters, Mr. John York, co-owner, has decided to put his frugal, bean-counting stamp on the franchise. The closing of the York-Bartolo wallet has led to an exodus not only of players, but also of coaches and staff. Many of them long time, loyal employees.

Hey, the man has every right to try and pinch his pennies, but in the meantime, Niner fans, are still waiting for the team to show them something! Can they find a decent rookie quarterback who won't stink up the joint? Can you say "Drunkenmiller" and "Carmazzi"? Can they entice young talent and then keep them? Because so far, every good draft pick has made his way out the door as soon as he was able to break free. They were able to keep Julian Peterson (left) one more year only because they put the franchise tag on him. One year is not enough to get this team back into championship form.

Will they spend any money on free agents who can add depth and experience, or are they simply going to cut everyone over 30 years of age?

The Niners are said to be taking a page from the Patriots and the Eagles playbook, and hoping to create a "team" of good players, not super stars. Thereby hanging onto the family jewels and not giving in to three super star players, "Me, Myself, and I".

Ah - but there's a fly in the ointment. Unlike the Pats and the Eagles who have elite quarterbacks the Niners have a slightly green and immobile Tim Rattay who must try and remain upright in the face of blitzes now that Derrick Deese (left) and Garrison Hearst are not there to block. Tim is in the unenviable position of hoping that Kwame Harris and Kevan Barlow can pick up the blitz as well as those two veterans did. The Niners are hoping that the defense can stop the pass once they lose Ahmed Plummer and perhaps Jason Webster. They have to keep their fingers crossed that Brandon Lloyd and Cedric Wilson will be able to outrun and overpower aggressive defenses since the door has been left wide open for TO and Tai Streets' departure.

The Eagles and Pats have built solid defenses over the course of several seasons. The Niners on the other hand have not only failed to add depth and talent, but have lost their defensive coordinator and offensive coordinator. Coach Dennis Erickson seems like a nice enough guy but he doesn't exude confidence.

By the time the Forty Niners get this blueprint for success in place, the league's dynamics will have shifted, yet again. Are the Niners the heir apparent to the Bengals tarnished crown?

Forty Niners fans are losing confidence in this elite organization. It's been a rough ride for the team and its fans over the last nine years, the dynasty team of the 80's hasn't been to a Super Bowl and all signs point to several more years of rebuilding and cost cutting. The team continues to play in one of the most decrepit stadiums in the league with little movement towards a remodeling effort or a new stadium deal. One would have thought the organization would be bending over backwards to give their fans a little extra love. But sadly it's an organization that seems to have lost touch with its fan base's sensibilities and expects the "Faithful" to continue to be patient. But, for how much longer?

While mediocre and even terrible teams have brand new state of the art stadiums built, the Forty Niners, one of the most successful and popular NFL franchises of all time, has given its fans diddly squat. Fans must slosh through flooded parking lots; sit in uncomfortable seats, watch night games with only a portion of the stadium lights in operation and maneuver through an obstacle course to get in and out of the stadium. Mayor Newsome and John York, get this project off the ground! Surely the City of San Francisco could use the revenue a new stadium and a Super Bowl would bring in.

So, while the happy couples celebrate in SF, take cable car rides up Nob Hill and stroll across Golden Gate Bridge, SF sports fans wait for an opportunity to host a Super Bowl in a setting worthy of their team's tradition, history, and past accomplishments. Unfortunately if history has taught us anything, it's that Niner fans will be waiting a lot longer than gay couples for their "partner" to take their hand and say "I do".

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