Coach from the Couch - Tuesdays' look back on The NFL Week Ten.
By Dave Wiley

What has happened to the Rams and the Bengals? Both teams went from early season division leaders and teams destined for the playoffs to sub .500 clubs. The Rams, losers of four in a row and currently sitting at 4-5 have only the Cardinals, who've lost eight in a row, to thank for not having the longest losing streak in the NFL. The Bengals, chokers of three in a row, also sit at 4-5 and have to wonder why their season is crumbling, especially after watching Carson Palmer throw for over 400 yards and lose!! Meanwhile, on the other side of the coin, the Packers, written off for dead and just wondering when Brett Favre would be benched, are now 4-5. The Chiefs, who were also on the road to Mediocreville, are now 5-4 even AFTER a disappointing loss to Miami . And speaking of Miami , they've won two in a row. And the Falcons? They've tripped up two weeks in a row to the likes of Detroit and Cleveland . Welcome to the wacky world of parity in the NFL!!
Best games of the week. - Well, you cannot score 42 points in the second half of a football contest, win only by eight and NOT be the best game of the week. Cincinnati twice held 21 point leads on the Chargers and could not hold on for victory. This game featured 12 total touchdowns, six of them passing, and three over forty yards. One running back rushed for four touchdowns; there were four fumbles, and remarkably, no interceptions. There were over 700 yards of passing offense ALONE. Of that, Chad Johnson had 260 of those yards and two of the over forty yard scores. Oh yea, and he was on the losing end of the stick as was Cincinnati . They go down 49-41 in the highest scoring contest of this NFL season thus far. Two camera men are hospitalized with whiplash from making their cameras go up and down the field one too many times. Ok the camera man thing never happened, but the rest of it is true!!
Pittsburgh and New Orleans wanted to have the best game of the week, and just missed 1,000 yards of total offense and the best game of the week by THIS much(holding thumb and forefinger slightly apart).. but put on one heck of a show. Drew Brees threw for 398 yards, Willie Parker rushed for 213 yards, and still the Pittsburgh Steelers upset the New Orleans Saints 38-31. Pittsburgh , coming off the Super Bowl last year, avoided sole possession of the AFC Central cellar, and remains tied with cellar juggernaut Cleveland , who also won. The Saints drop to 6-3 but hold onto a one game NFC South over the Falcons. Cleveland meets Pittsburgh next week, loser securing sole basement possession and the right to hang rock band posters and black lights for at least a week in said basement dwelling.
Baltimore and Tennessee put in their bid for best game of the week as Baltimore , just like San Diego , engineered the biggest comeback of their team history by recovering from a 19 point deficit to win 27-26. Steve McNair returned to the place that snubbed him. Vince Young drove his team down the field for the apparent game winning field goal that was blocked with 33 seconds to play, and Baltimore moved to an AFC Central leading 7-2. The Titans fall to 2-7 for the season, and got to see first hand why they sent McNair packing, apparently they just weren't happy with his comeback skills.
In the last game bidding for game of the week, for the second time this year, Josh Brown boots a game winning field goal against division rival St. Louis , and the Seahawks beat the Rams 24-22. Josh Brown has kicked a game winning field goal three times this year already. Interestingly his last name is Brown, and single-handedly he has three wins - the exact number of wins the entire Cleveland Browns team has!! A field goal kicker and a Cleveland team both named Brown, have three wins each. Ironic or what? The Seahawks move to 6-3 and have opened up a two game lead on St. Louis and the San Francisco 49ers.
NFL Brittani Spears moment - Whoops they did it again. For the second week in a row, the Atlanta not-to-be-mistaken-for-a-playoff-team Falcons lose to one of the worst teams in the league. Last week it was the lowly Lions. This week? It is the Browns. Does Atlanta have some sort of Midwest bad team voodoo curse against it?
Trailing 17-13 with time running out, Michael Vick drives the Falcons to the Browns five yard line. Unfortunately, HOLDING!! The play comes back. Vick scrambles on a second and twenty only to rumble, bumble, and fumble away the game. Michael Vick continues to be very, very good, or very, very bad. Cleveland gets two picks, a fumble, and the Ferris Beuhler's day off award from Michael Vick. They move to 3-6 on the year and the Falcons are a pedestrian 5-4. Hard to believe, but more games fall into the Brittani Spears category. Jacksonville inexplicably loses AGAIN to the Houston Texans!!! Houston 13 - Jacksonville 10. Houston has a grand total of three wins this year and two of them are against Jacksonville . I guess this is a good omen for Jacksonville . If they make the playoffs, chances are slim they will play Houston , so they may end up in the Super Bowl!! Then again, maybe this is just Floridian wishful thinking. Speaking of Floridian wishful thinking, it seemed to work for Miami fans. Miami , also a team falling into the Brittani Spears category, making that THREE GAMES of oopsies, wins for the second week in a row to move to 3-6. First, they knock off undefeated Chicago , and then follow it up by beating the red hot Chiefs!!! What the Favre!!! Miami 13 - KC 10. But wait!! Brittani is still in business. New England loses its second game in a row, making it the final team in the "Whoops" category, but falling to the New York up-again-down-again Jets. New England hasn't lost games back to back in 57 contests!! It really is scary the power of a Brittani Spears lyric. If I were that Federline dude, I would get out of dodge quickly before the curse of Spears befalls my private parts. The Jets win 17-14.
Squeakers that shouldn't outta be squeakers - Two games came in that didn't look like they'd be close on paper, but since games are played on grass and not paper, they ended up being close. First up was undefeated Indianapolis pulling off a 17-16 win against Buffalo . The Bills even had a chance to go ahead in the fourth quarter, but missed the field goal that would have been the game winner had there not been 6:22 on the clock and Peyton Manning on the other side of the field. As it panned out, Manning did not need to get out his come-from-behind-fairy-dust. Instead he and the Colts ran out the clock to seal this squeaker of a victory. They become the first team to go back-to-back seasons starting out the season 9-0. For whatever it's worth, I guess that is something huh? Next up, Division leader Denver took on cellar-dweller Oakland in what would surely be a laugher. No such luck for the Broncos although they overcome another crappy outing by Jake Plummer and take home the win 17-13. Oakland contributed by doing everything in their power to hand Denver the keys to victory. I can just hear both teams on the sidelines now "You take the victory." "No, you take the victory." "Oh, all right, if you insist, but we didn't earn it". "Neither did we." "Do we have to count this as our bye week?" "I hope not, that would mean my fishing trip is off".
Battle of the Black and Blue - I remember a time not so long ago that Green Bay and Minnesota playing each other had real meaning. This would have been a marquee matchup just a few years ago. This year? Not so much. Minnesota never loses to Green Bay at home. Green Bay never loses to Minnesota at home. So, since Minnesota is home, they win right? NO!!! Green Bay is so close to .500 they can smell it as they win 23-17 and move to 4-5. Minnesota meanwhile just finished smelling .500 and apparently did not like it!! They drop to 4-5. My sleeper pick for the year of Minnesota is just that.. ASLEEP!!!
Arizona is still the Bermuda Triangle of the NFL - It never ceases to amaze me how the Cardinals could have amassed such a talented group and still be the keepers of the "eight losses in a row" award. Is Arizona some sort of Bermuda Triangle for football players? This year alone, they've moved into a beautiful new facility. They signed Edgerrin James. They drafted Matt Leinart. They have temperatures above freezing all year round, and there are a ton of nice people living there. HOW CAN THEIR FOOTBALL TEAM SUCK YEAR AFTER YEAR? Don't answer now; this is definitely a rhetorical question. At least when Joe Bugel was the coach they would come somewhat close to 8-8. Bring back the Bugel!!! Never mind. The power of the triangle is just too powerful. In the game Triangle, Bugel, NFL team, Triangle always trumps Bugel and NFL team. Nothing defeats the Triangle. (Note: In some cultures, the word Bidwell is substituted for Triangle). So anyhow, Arizona played Dallas this week. The outcome? Dallas wins 27-10. There's an upset!!
San Fran is 4-5? - Guess which game falls under this category. The SAN FRAN GAME!!! San Francisco is currently sitting at 4-5 and tied for second place in their respective division. Not only that, but if you look, the wild card slots for the NFC, they are currently filled with 5-4 ball clubs. That puts San Fran one game out of the playoff picture. They beat Detroit 19-13 this week and are sniffing .500. There is nothing better than sniffing .500 when no one expected you to be close to .500. The 49ers even appear to look like a .500 club. Could this be the year they return to respectability? It may happen. Detroit , on the other hand, should probably move to Arizona so they at least have the "triangle" excuse going for them. (In some cultures, the word "Millen' is substituted for "Triangle" so perhaps they already reside in a Triangle of their own).
Finally, we have the Monday night game, already pre-determined by math. You see, the Carolina Panthers are a mathematical sequence. They started out the year losing two, then they won four, then they lost two. That means this week is the beginning of a four game win streak. Behold the power of cheese, errr.. I mean math!!! The Panthers win, keeping the mathematical sequence alive!! Three more games of this and I will be applying for NFL math professor jobs!! : Using the laws of probability, this puts Carolina at 10-6 for the season and they will go two games deep into the playoffs before losing. This week though, they beat the Buccaneers, who fall to an awful 2-7.
So what does next week bring us? First of all, a lot of housecleaning as we prepare for Thanksgiving the week after. In NFL terms though, it brings us the following great games: Cleveland / Pittsburgh (just kidding, I was having a flashback), San Diego and Denver , both 7-2 and in the same division meet up. Indianapolis plays Dallas , sure to be a T.O. tapper. The Bears and the Jets may prove interesting, depending on which Jets team shows up. Bengals and Saints should be good. Wow, I could go on and on, but I won't, because I need to get busy cleaning the basement.
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