The Power of the Crotch

By Paula Duffy

At half time last night during what can only be described as an embarrassing butt kicking of the Lakers by a one man team called the Milwaukee Bucks, starring Michael Redd, my pal and I checked out the sports memorabilia kiosk. There were framed photos or paintings, all signed, by athletes from the NBA, NFL and of course the darlings of this weekend out here: UCLA and USC. Many of the photos were from the era, not long ago, when NBA players wore real shorts. The shots of the thigh muscles of a jumping James Worthy of the Lakers had my heart a flutter as did his jersey which wasn't hanging loose and barely tucked into the shorts. I expressed, among all the lookers and the owner of the kiosk that I wanted to start a movement to bring back the shorts. I pointed out the spandex pants and tight uniform shirts on the football stars in the framed shots and I was met with silence by the men surrounding me. My pal just shook his head, put his hand on my shoulder to steer me away from the guys who wanted to know why I was disrupting their man-worship of the autographed pictures. The owner of the kiosk looked at me and said: "you're barking up the wrong tree honey." As I had to be restrained from engaging in an intellectual discussion with the owner, my pal quickly pointed me in the direction of the ice cream stand and delicately told me why my desire for shorts would never come to be again. I informed him that all fashion comes around again; please see for reference the low riding jeans of the last few years, worn by the daughters of my generation of women. Since delicacy wasn't gonna work with me I was told in no uncertain terms that the whole issue came down to one thing: short shorts ride up, bunch up and need to be adjusted constantly. Oh, ok, why didn't you just say that to begin with? But... as I countered, women wear heels that destroy the bones in their feet, get waxed and can't walk after the session for, oh I don't know.days, or put on those aforementioned low riders, which if worn tight enough require chiropractic visits. I was then told that male crotches won't be compromised that way again and that was the end of the discussion. I guess a girl can dream but the power of the crotch might just rule here. Am I alone in this? Can you help me bring back the short shorts in basketball? I'd love validation on this one and a blogosphere movement. With David Stern, NBA Commissioner so concerned about the clothing worn OFF the court by his players, why wouldn't a reasoned argument work to upgrade the baggy stuff worn ON the court? All sports czars want to increase attendance and merchandise purchases so if women are the new frontier in sports fans why not make the paying customers happy? Would love to know your thoughts.

 

Author Paula Duffy is the founder of Incidental Contact, a sports learning site for women, www.incidentalcontact .com . Send comments about Paula's column to _________

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