A Girl with a Pen: Nothing compares to ' Beat Michigan ' Week

By Tami Kamin-Meyer

I live in Columbus , Ohio , the Land of 'Beat Michigan'. While I grew up only 98 miles from Columbus , in Cincinnati , I had no inkling about the bitter rivalry between these two universities. Despite that, I maintained an active lifestyle, graduating from college, going out on dates, working at a radio station.

When I moved to 'Beat Michigan' Land 20 years ago, I still had no concept of the gravity of the hatred, disdain and disgust that existed between these two Big Ten schools. When former Ohio State football coaching legend Woody Hayes died just months after I moved here, I was dumbfounded by all the local media coverage of the occurrence. I thought to myself, "'Why are they making such a big deal now??? That guy has been dead what, 30 or 40 years already, hasn't he?'"

Boy, was I in for a Rude Awakening.

Fast forward to November 12, 2006, known throughout Buckeye Country as the first day of 'Beat Michigan' Week. Hey, that team from Up North (another nickname of theirs often bantered about in Columbus ) must be pretty darn good if it takes an entire seven days to beat them. I wonder how many quarters, half times and penalties that would add up to.

All joking aside, this Saturday's college football match-up between the No. 1 Ohio State Buckeyes and the No. 2 Michigan Wolverines is being touted as the most important game between the schools in their 103-year rivalry. On the line this Saturday are both undisputed possession of the Big Ten title and a spot in the Bowl Championship Series title game on Jan. 8, 2007. The Game will be televised by ABC with the kickoff set for 3:45 p.m., EST, in sold-out Ohio Stadium. A record crowd of more than 106,000 is expected to be on hand.

I have learned quite a bit about Columbus since moving here over 20 years ago. Back then, downtown Columbus didn't have too many tall buildings, so when I headed south on I-71 to visit Cincinnati, the reflection of the entire downtown fit nicely in my rear view mirror. I liked that because it meant I was leaving town. Today, two decades later, tall condominium buildings and office towers dot the landscape, making for a far more impressive reflection. Nowadays, since I consider myself a Columbusite and no longer a Cincinnati resident on temporary leave here, I am far happier seeing the city skyline as I approach it, rather than leave it.

I have always likened Columbus , Ohio to a fungus, and I don't mean that as an insult. Columbus is a comfortable and convenient place to live, and, like a fungus, it grows on a person after a while. Certainly I didn't aspire to live here during my professional and parenting years, but now that I do, I'm glad about it.

Don't get me wrong. If Newsweek or Sports Illustrated called tomorrow and offered me a writing job if I moved to New York City , yea, Columbus would be in my rear view mirror in a heartbeat. But if they don't call tomorrow, I'm cool with waiting it out here in Buckeye Country, in the nation's 15 th largest city.

But back to 'Beat Michigan' Week. Another phenomenon about living through Michigan Week is that even though the local news starts at, say, 11 p.m., there really isn't any need to start watching until about 11:05. That's because every newscast this week, on every local channel, starts off with Game Day Weather, the latest sneeze report from Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel and the new lane closures the City of Columbus announces every five minutes as it prepares for the onslaught of fans, ticket brokers, food vendors, media and Everybody Else and Their Mother who will descend on Columbus this week. Last week, local media started reporting how trash collectors were going to empty the city's large trash containers in the OSU campus area at least twice this week so there would be less stuff for deliriously happy OSU fans to burn as they celebrate Ohio State's victory this Saturday. Employees of the Franklin County Clerk of Courts will be manning a temporary police depot on campus so people arrested (yea, I'm talking to YOU, Michigan fans!) can be processed immediately. Anyone under 21 drinking alcohol (the legal age for drinking in Ohio is 21) will not be released on their own recognizance, said the Clerk of Courts. They will be processed on campus and then spend the rest of the weekend in lock-up at the county jail.

Ohio News Network, a Columbus-based television station broadcasting statewide recently announced a week of special programming leading up to The Big Game. Highlights include 'The Buckeye Blitz', a show featuring a former Buckeye player analyzing the upcoming match-up with sports dudes from a local sports radio station. Another program, 'Michigan Memories', will highlight special moments from past games between the two teams. Wednesday night will feature an hour-long program chronicling the 103-year history of the schools' rivalry. Oh, did I mention the THREE pre-game and the countless post-game shows to be presented on Saturday?

Grocery stores and retail outlets are quickly selling out of their Buckeye regalia. Scarlet and gray wigs, Michigan Wolverine voodoo dolls and even scarlet and gray M & Ms are flying off store shelves so that game-watching parties all over town are stocked to the gills.

'Beat Michigan ' Week is like no other time of year, and this year, with so much on the line; it's more exciting than usual. If you didn't grow up in a college town (yes, the nation's 15 th largest city is actually a big college town!), it's probably hard to comprehend the hysteria, attention and excitement surrounding one college football game. I guarantee that if that team from Up North should somehow beat Ohio State this Saturday, Columbus will be mired in a depression so deep so the combined forces of Dr. Phil, Dr. Laura and a wheelbarrow full of Oxycotin couldn't breathe life back into it for at least a month.

My prediction: Ohio State 27, Michigan 17 (but could we still have that wheelbarrow of Oxycotin?)

GO BUCKS!!!!!

Tami Kamin-Meyer is an Ohio attorney and writer who refers to herself simply as 'A Girl with a Pen.'

 

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